I do hope SOMEONE out there has a blog named just that- I do.
Yesterday I dropped off my 2 girls with my ex-mother in law to go to California for 6 weeks. LE SIGH. This year was better than last as I cried for about 3 days- this time was less…. tearful. The house is so quiet that it’s very hard to adjust to. Jon said to me “I can make you feel better! Do you want me to spill something? I could cry about going to bed or whine. I could make a huge mess with the toys!” At least he got me to laugh.
So today I had to run around like a maniac getting Nia’s papers in order for pre-school, picking up immunization forms, and ugggh I went for a run too. It was SO muggy and hot I thought I was going to die! But, alas.. I am SO determined to drop 20 winter pounds. My old pal Darcy is going to do it with me. Here’s the catch, she lives in Portland Oregon. We’re gonna make it work somehow!
After finishing up the 3rd version of a new sweater (which I can’t post about or tell you about- yeah I know it’s kinda a drag, but so worth it) I fiddled around with how to shape sleeve hems with a folded edge. And then I decided to make some socks. Knee socks! I’m almost done and will post pics later or tomorrow.
Speaking of pictures, I need a new camera! I want a slr digital. If you know of a good one that costs less than a mortgage payment- please give me some ideas/advice! I recently saw a samsung that it also a hd video recorder- this appeals to me as 2 birds one stone.
It has been so insanely hot and humid here, it’s absolutely disgusting out! Last weekend was my very dear friend Jenny Mac’s baby shower! I took some pictures, but am waiting for our talented, gorgeous and lovely friend Damnit Janet’s professional pics, as they are far superior to mine which have half closed eyes and grimacing faces. I NEED A NEW CAMERA people.
I’m trying very hard to get back into blogging here. I think if I keep posting it will come back, eventually! One thing I know I always love to look at on blogs are pictures!! And there we are back at my crappy camera. le sigh again!
More fantastic news on my end- My amazing friend DaSilva Bullet is getting hitched!! I can’t wait! DaSilva is this beautiful, exotic fiery lil’ Brazilian renaissance woman who aside from being my roller derby bff and nemesister (we both retired this year but she was SOOOO hard to block! She got so low it was almost illegal)- she is in a band called So Sol, works at a bird sanctuary with children AND makes this amazing jewelry- plus she’s the sweetest and cutest ever- go check her out!
So in closing hell yeahs DaSilva! I love you!!

Cutest couple evah

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Today I spent the better half of the day trying to figure out how to get this up- using Scribd.com which is actually a really neat site. You can upload, covert and embed any doc into any page! Of course if you are on wordpress, what they DON’T tell you is you need to upload the simpler ipaper plug-in if you want to see anything other than some code on your page.

Anyways, you can view it full screen, download it, even print it!

I usually include a list on pattern pdf’s but thought this might be a way for y’all to save on printer ink, especially if you already know what ssk stands for! No duh.

Knitting news- I’m trying to get this sweater exactly where I want it, knowing full well I will have to re-knit it in another yarn at some point. It’s been submitted so I can’t really talk about it until I know if it got in or not. Which kind of sucks. However, my next one I can tell you will be an eggplant lace-weight. I have the basic shape in my head. I might knit this one in plain ole’ stockinette.

I primarily knit in lace, and find it weird that when I have yarn specifically designed for lace, I say Stockinette. Maybe it’s the thought of making a teeny mistake and having to frog all that work that tortures me. Smaller needles = longer knitting time and ewwwwweeeee if I messed up on the armscyes, aye yi yi. Although strangely enough, the next one isn’t going to have traditional sleeves. I’m not sure what one would even call them actually- it’s sort of like a cape and they don’t connect. They’ll be ruffled or shirred though. I’m thinking 30′s-40′s glamor.

Hopefully I will have something to post up soon. Aside from the abbreviations, Lelah is up and you can download the pdf straight from the page, Sarah is up but with a link to Ravelry. I’ll be making a pdf template for future use once I get that down.

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I’ll have to find a picture of the country western postcard I have with that phrase on it, it’s fun.

Life is insanely busy- and when I say busy, I don’t mean hectic in the normal sense- I mean the glued to my computer all day way!

I’m getting geared up for Nia’s 4th birthday party (oh, yes- pictures to come!). It’s at this place called POW Science! The theme is “Alchemical” and they will be making slime.

Computer stuff- Good LORD. Y’all have to be  aware that I am utterly techtarded by now. I feel like a dud robotic being. First I sift through the 80 emails from both of my classes. I’m taking TWO from Shannon! Designing 101 (as previously mentioned here) AND now Tech Editing!! First off, Shannon is amazing and I wish I could bottle her energy. I think we are around the same age, only I feel decrepit next to her. Like I’m hanging on to my walker for dear life and she’s marathon running circles around me with excitement and energy! So I am not bitching about reading my 80 emails – I LOVE reading them. Problem is they are all so educational, interesting or funny that I literally read word for word- no scanning here! Also, I should point out that the majority of these are from classmates, I don’t want you to think it’s all Shannon!

So I have assignments going on in 2 places- I also am still working on assignment 3 (yeah, we’re actually on assignment 5 now). Beautifying the BLOG. Uhhhhh, yeah. I blew up my blog like 4 times in the span of 24 hours!  This excellent chick Lindsey (from my TE class) LITERALLY cyber-held my hand via gmail chat and walked me through getting a background image on here. It was sooo easy that I really feel like I need a gigantic dunce cap. But in my defense- why is it everyone tells you what to write- but doesn’t tell you where to put it or HOW to get it on your site? Anyways, we had SUCCESS as you are observing right this moment!

I have a HUGE old post to write about my favorite sisters, The Bell Sisters Ding and Dong! I’m not going to give it away yet, I have a big reveal plannned- but let’s just say those 2 sneaky pete’s made my year! D&D- I love you guys and THANK YOU!!

Speaking of friends, I miss Helen terribly. On hold are the days we used to write incessantly to each other about everything knitting and fiber related. She’s like a ghost limb! While learning a TON, we’re both looking forward to getting back to “waffling”! (Right Helen??!)

AND- more tech stuff- my phone finally went and died. I got an I-PHONE! (And YES. Sigh. My first app was the Vogue Knitting one). This phone is amazing! I got the 3GS- WOW. I could literally stay on it and cruise the apps for hours. If only my blog were as easy. Now if I can figure out how to use the internet when I am NOT at home, we’ll be all set. Jon’s completely jealous. I downloaded him a guitar app. More on all that later- this is supposed to be an update and excuse, er.. explanation as to why you hear crickets when you come here lately.

I know there was more- oh yes. My new piece. I named it Danielian after my friend Amy. Not because it reminded me of her, I was just stumped for a name. Let’s not divulge that to her though, ok? Anyways, so far so okay. Not my fave, but hey, it fits, it’s easy and I just want to get it done so I can start on a NEW one. I already have like 6 different packages of new yarn to utilize.

Okay, Jon’s notifying me that it’s time to shut this thing down and get some sleep. (Yeah, that just means I need to clear off my ‘office’ space so he can actually get in our ahem KING size bed). It’s covered with knitting related stuff.

Good night my lovies!!

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Originally, I started to post about 3 things, which turned into 4- so I’m breaking it up into separate posts. I used to write wildly and without abandon about my “personal” life. I don’t know why I stopped- Looking back at my old blog, I crack myself up! I think recently, I was like a mullet with the business up front- party in the back. That’s just not me really! I kind of like to do both at the same time so whatever, I do what I want!

For those of you who don’t already know- Jon and I are FINALLY going to get married, after like 20 years of good and bad, better and worse, sickness and health- see? We’ve already been there and done all that, repeatedly in many cases! We’re just going to make it official now, sorry but I have to say  again- FINALLY!

Okay- here comes the big saga- The adventures of Me and Jonny. He’s a huge part of my life and most definitely deserves his own post. I’m just going to warn you now, this is the abbreviated version (there’s like 23 years of history here!) so….. READ AT YOUR OWN BOREDOM! (otherwise, feel free to skip this one as it’s kinda mushy). I’m in love and I almost lost him….literally…forever.

Me- age 13 or 14.

Jon- age about 16.

The first time I remember meeting him was at a hardcore show, at the old Living Room in Providence. I was with my friend Mel, he was with Eric Tyler. They came up to us and were trying to pick us up. Jon’s big brother Chris was in this excellent band back then called Verbal Assault and they were playing an all-ages show, I can’t remember who was headlining. I DO remember this skinny kid telling me he could get me in for free (I had already paid to get in) because his BROTHER was the LEAD SINGER for VERBAL ASSAULT, blah blah! Mel and I, I think were more concerned about watching some great music than being bothered by 2 guys obviously cruising. That’s MY first memory of Jon. He doesn’t remember this, but I think that might be “selective”!

Maybe a year later, I was dating his friend, Jon was dating someone else- and he always brings up the story about how he fell head over heels the first time he saw me (THIS instance being the “first” time he saw me).  He remembers exactly what I was wearing, how my hair was, everything I said and felt bad because he wanted to be my boyfriend (awww!) but since I was with his friend… I, of course remember very little about this, but did always think he was cute. Apparently I asked him why he was always wearing black jeans.

Eventually Chris and I broke it off, and I think Jon and I re-connected at a big keg party (so 80’s!) in Narragansett. I told him that I wouldn’t go home with him or anything unless we were “seriously dating”. That seemed to work for him, and we went on to date for some time.

I fell irreversibly in love with him on this one warm summer night, I guess I was probably 15 at the time. We went to the drive in movies, then went swimming in this awesome reservoir in Newport. I can still remember the stars and it started to rain, but the warm, good kind of rain. That night seemed to last forever, I guess in order to last forever in my memory. BEST. DATE. EVER. And then it was all over for me.

Then we broke up, of course. The first time of MANY times to come.

Fate struck again at a show he was playing when he broke his guitar and a huge shard went flying across the room and right into MY shin. He was a freshman at college then, and embarrassed to pick me up from high school because he always thought that the older dudes picking up their girlfriends when he was in high school were losers. (for the record, he DID come to get me a lot, in his ghetto sled of a car which trust me, was waaaaay more embarrassing for ME then him)

So we dated in that dramatical end all be all way you go through only when you’re young (and subsequently) dumb. It was amazing and horrible all at the same time.

For a while, I moved in with him when I was 17- in a freezing house right on the beach. We were SO POOR! And COLD in the middle of winter. And it was mostly great (in that way it only can be when you’re young).  We were both extremely jealous- he couldn’t stand it if I even talked to a guy (but it was OK for him to talk to whomever whenever) and we fought over stupid things all the time. One time, it was snowing and I ran out barefoot down the beach and he followed me the entire way. For all the stupidity, we were also extremely close, and I think that may have actually been the weakest link. I think maybe we were both scared of that and grew suspicious that the other could possibly feel the same way. One of us had to love the other MORE, we couldn’t possibly love each other equally! . Personally, I could never live like that again! At this age now, I could NEVER re-live that and be happy, which I think in a way is kind of sad, but am mainly just glad to have had those experiences.

We all ended up moving to the city. Things changed, we argued more. Jon was dumb back then as far as I am STILL concerned. I would have married him regardless had he asked. We broke up because Jon was uhhhh- well he was a musician and there was no shortage of admirers on his end and you get the drift. Don’t worry though, there were no shortage on my end either! – I left him for Mark Arm (Mudhoney) which definitely was a hit below the belt to him even though it was not a petty or revenge relationship (Mark and I were pretty serious, I even moved to Seattle and in with him, now HE was older! By 11 years!). In a way, I was glad for him to see that someone who was constantly touring still managed to write me 20 page letters every day, call me every night (and talk until 4 am), and basically treat me the way that he just… didn’t! Jon lived down the street, but he was “busy” a lot. Let’s not even go there.

Jon actually came to visit me in Seattle and we got back together again for like 4 seconds. It was another wonderful and sad thing. To just KNOW something is right, but never going to work.  Then I moved back and we were on briefly then off again- this time for many years. We both met and married other people. Still, I always had secretly hoped that I would have married and had kids with Jon. And apparently, he felt the same- we just never thought the other one ever would. I remember it being pretty hard when I heard he was getting married, and to be honest, I just didn’t “get” it. (But, I actually am pretty great pals with his ex and we try to hang out every few months!) I am surprised that she put up with him for as long as she did, I sure wouldn’t have at that time.

No matter how much I tried, he always crept back into my life, my head and worst of all- my heart. His sister and I have always been extremely close, so I suppose that didn’t help…. always hearing about whatever he was doing at the time. Seeing him out was always like having a huge dagger in the heart too. I tried pretty hard to run in different circles. Him in Newport, Me in Providence- worked for most the time.

Then one night, after both of our marriages had taken a digger- I had called him just to say “Hi”. I swear! But- that was it, and we’ve been inseparable since. The next day he called at least 25 times. This time though, everything was different. Better. GROWN UP! …..except…..

When we first got back together though, he was a big drinker. He’s a pretty well known and respected musician here and basically did what many do- drink and play, play and drink. So realizing that it was a more serious issue literally brought me to tears. It was very painful to go through seeing someone you’ve loved for over 20 years shaking in the morning. I’ve never really been exposed to that side of anyone, never mind Jon.

Being a mother- I basically told him if he couldn’t stop, it was over. It’s not like he was any different, he was very functional, however- I just couldn’t deal with it. He cut way down on drinking, he went to detox- he really, really tried. One day his stomach hurt and gradually ended up doubled over. I took him to the emergency room, they gave him tylenol and prilosec and sent him home. Around 4 am, it was to the point he was seeing double. He said he felt like someone had shot him in the gut. I had no idea that he was THAT sick…. but he was diagnosed with  pancreatitis and almost died. The doctor’s told us “zero percent” chance of making it. I don’t really like talking about it too much- it’s still really fresh and tender and makes me incredibly sad. Below is a photo taken by his sister, in the hospital.

So he did pull through and is great now! He hasn’t drank since Nov last year, is handling sobriety excellently, and is the guy I always knew he could be and so desperately needed him to be . I know he kinda sounds bad on paper, but honestly- He’s amazing – you just have to meet him to know. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE here loves him to death. He’s very nice and charismatic- always listens to everyone and genuinely cares. He’s the first to offer a hand to help even an acquaintance. He’s terribly smart, handsome and funny. If you don’t believe me, CHECK THIS OUT- He made the front page of the paper this weekend and yesterday we both  interviewed for another. So we both made the cover of the same newspaper – here’s mine (I’m on the right in red)

I have always been and will always be head over heels for him. And I’m blessed and lucky that he feels the same for me. I don’t think I could ever manage without him and wonder how I ever did before without him. I also never thought that we would ever be able to repair anything romantically, and yet I trust him with my life now. I think it’s a great and rare example that things and people really can change- for the better. And that if you want something, really want it- it can happen.  Maybe it’s not easy, but definitely worth it. Maybe someday I can sell the rights to Lifetime, who knows, so what, who cares! I’m glad that fate dealt this out in this time frame, we never would have made it before. I still am in awe that we’re back together, period. And minus all the drinking then almost dying stuff, I wish that everyone can have their own “Jonny”- I think it’s sort of rare and magical.

Fun photos of us below! (Someday, I’ll get round to scanning the reeeealy old ones and we can all have a laugh about me and Jon as punk kids in  the 80’s- also Jon’s teeny tiny frog legs in his pastel Vision skating shorts, or my many different colors and styles of shaved hair)

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